#gradschool

i now have two weeks under my belt as a grad student in minnesota. i've been home from korea a little over a month. a lot has changed, not much has stayed the same. and i've kept myself busy. i'm worried about repatriation and adjusting again. i'm worried about getting into ruts and slowing down and running out of fuel. so for the last month i've been constantly moving.

i flew home and was up north to my lake as fast as i could be. i moved to minneapolis and jetted off to montana with marshall for a week. i had orientation and flew home for em's wedding in the backyard. we had our first week of classes and i headed to the woods for a weekend of crisis simulation. we've had another week and tomorrow, uncle david and mark come for a weekend of sportsing (twins and lions) and fall colors. i haven't stopped moving, and don't foresee doing so in the near future. and i'm not sure if it's a good or a bad thing.

i've read a lot of articles about moving home, returning stateside. i've read a lot of articles about missing things and people and lifestyles. i tried to prepare myself for the worst and for the best. so i think it's good that i'm in a new place with new people exploring new corners. but it's also hard, because i don't have people to rely on or old friends who know me well. there's always a reason to keep moving here.

but minnesota and grad school have been what i've needed. i needed the structure of classes and studying. i've needed the benefit of riding my bike to school most days. i've needed to go out of my comfortable box to befriend people. i've had to reroute and explore more. i've had to walk longer and accidentally get off bus stops too early. i've had to take the bus to the train to the plane for a weekend home. i've had to ask people for help and feel silly when i wander around lost.

as for classes, i've had biostats, and epi methods, and pathophysiology. we discuss issues in environmental and occupational health. i've attended global health seminars and have infectious disease socials penciled into my calendar.

this past weekend i participated in a humanitarian relief crisis simulation. we were in the woods of cannon falls on various ngo teams assessing needs and evaluating what could be fulfilled and asking for donations for future projects. it was a stretching weekend, a weekend of growth and learning and discomfort. it was a wild combination of stress, anxiety, excitement, understanding, and appreciation - just what i imagine a real-world criss situation would look like. i gained insight into the world of situation flow, leadership, cooperation, and working alongside strangers-turned-team in a constantly-changing environment. i am excited to now have an informational foundation for my pursuit of humanitarianism, and to have gleaned mountains of learning and growth from this course and to have one graduate credit under my belt. we networked with the cdc and the red cross and doctors without borders and the refugee committee, and we worked together to solve an incredible problem.  

i recently took up rock-climbing. recently, as in i've gone twice and haven't made it to the top yet. but there have been improvements and friendships and community made at the rec center. people who encourage and uplift and motivate me to push myself out of my comfort zone on the bouldering wall. allowing me to be afraid to fall, but to fall anyway. and after sore arms begin to heal, i'm ready to try again. 

and i think this is a reflection of my experience here in mn so far. i've been stretched and pulled and molded, again. i've been uncomfortable and unsettled. i've been surrounded by english speakers and still struggle to communicate and find commonalities. i don't have to fend for myself as often, but i do find myself relying on others more than i would like. i've been overwhelmed by the number of tomato soup options at the grocery store and the surplus of fresh vegetables and fruit (so much so, that i keep overbuying and can't eat them all). i've uprooted myself from the things that were comfortable in korea and in michigan and i've moved myself to a new spot, a new place to call home, a new corner to explore. i'm starting to form my fledgling roots here in this place with my avocado plant (who is still alive). so the initial painful shedding of excess and of the old comes again, as it always does when i'm uprooted. there's a bit of soreness in the exploring and wondering, because i know that somewhere else i could be comfortable and safe and stable. 

so here's to the next few weeks: of reaching the top of the purple path on the bouldering wall, trying all the bus routes successfully and unsuccessfully, meeting new people every day, being uncomfortable, meeting wonderful people and making wonderful friends, and riding my bike three out of four school days a week. 

this is the end

there are very few days between now and when i'll take the bus to the airport to fly home. there is only one more monday after today, playing with the kids and crossing language barriers. there are very few days left of kimchi, hot soups in the summer, humidity that makes my hair absolutely wild, being called a foreigner, and trips on the train to seoul. this is the end. the end of my time living in korea. the end of my time climbing these lush mountains and smelling the salty seas. the end of traipsing through rice paddies that are wonderfully green. the end of having misunderstandings and miscommunications every day. the end of being the only blondish brown in school. the end of this little apartment with my treadmill and pink bathroom and no counter space. the end of teaching english to my little nuggets. the end of quite an adventure.

there are many things i'll miss. many i won't. but this place has been so good to me. so good for me. this place has stretched and smoothed and roughed up and changed me. i've gotten stronger and bolder and wilder. i've grown into myself, i think. i've been forced to be alone, a lot. i've been forced to be uncomfortable, to feel unsteady, to stay connected, to turn to nature. i've climbed a lot of things, seen far and wide, tasted everything under the moon (and some i will never ever taste again). i've tried silkworm larva and tentacles and sea creatures. i've enjoyed radish and kimchi and seaweed soups.

but i'm ready for a change, and i've been ready for a few months now. but these months of readiness have been good, too. they've helped me detach and part ways with things. i'm not being ripped from this place, i'm slowly digging out each root carefully and painstakingly. i started saying goodbye a long time again. probably around the end of february, when the last semester was starting and everything was changing. when i started trying frisbee, and running races, and making more effort to go places. i'm mostly packed now, a lot of my things are in my suitcase. my walls that were once full of quotes and pictures and tapestries are now bare (as bare as korean wallpaper can be). there isn't much left to fit into the small spaces that remain.

the next month: soon, i'll move home, just to move away again. this time to minnesota to start school again. for a while, i was worried about repatriation and reading every article i could get my hands on. i was worried about coming back changed and finding things hadn't (or had) changed as well. i was worried about not being able to relate, and people not trying to relate to me (or not being able to). i was worried that i'd be overwhelmed by it all. and i was, when i went home in june. i was eavesdropping on everyone, and i couldn't choose a tomato soup from the many, many options in meijer. i was overwhelmed by people understanding me, but not understanding my experiences. not knowing what i'd seen, or what i'd eaten. so i'm throwing myself into a new thing: public health school. in a new city, in a new state. i think it'll be good for me to not stop moving, because if i stop or slow down too much, i think i'll worry, and stress, and overthink things. the transition wouldn't be smooth.

moving to: the bike paths of mpls, the lakes around my apartment, the brewery down the street, the outdoor concerts, the fresh air, the hours of studying, finding nooks and crannies that feel comfortable, exploring something unknown again, to ride public transportation and commute on green paths, see old friends and make new. and welcome people into my new place.

michigan

from june 12 to 23 i was fortunate to make a return stateside for the first time in a year and a half. the occasion for this brief jaunt to the homeland was for the union of my beloved erika and bob. i was actually a little nervous during the days preceding the trip home: there was a mers outbreak in korea, i thought i might miss my early flight, i was going to be in an english speaking country, i was going to be surrounded by people i loved and hadn't seen in far too long.

i slept at jodi's the night before my flight and we went to see jurassic world. i woke up early and caught the bullet train to the airport and without issue, made it to my flight on time. the flight was 12 hours too long, squished between the window and a muscular army guy. i didn't sleep much and between the brief sleepy stints i watched john oliver, and unbroken, and downton abbey, and tried to rest as much as possible. i had a short layover in detroit before catching my connection to chicago. the short flight was made even sweeter by the lovely merna who sat next to me.

i landed in chicago midway to two great friends: diana and morgan driving in circles waiting for me with a bright sign and a too-big picture of my face. i was so excited i couldn't cry. they drove me to downtown and took me to a fantastic pizza place with pitchers of oberon, to coffee shops we stumbled into for energy, to their favorite green parks. i saw their apartments and snippets of their lives there. we drank craft beers and danced to music and ate popcorn. we were joined by a few others and MON and went to a bar for some social time and ridiculous dancing to acoustic versions of shut up and dance.

the next morning, i woke up (too) early to catch my bus to grand rapids. diana dropped me off and shortly afterwards i figured out i had gotten the ticket for the wrong day and i was stuck in downtown without a phone and without any idea of where diana lived. i managed to turn on my korean phone and diana returned to rescue me. (so early, bless her soul). because the next train and bus didn't leave until the evening and i was in a rush to get to gr for the bachelorette party, my awesome friends arranged to meet in the middle. darling diana drove me to sawyer, mi where darling morgan picked me up off the curb. God bless gooooood good friends. seriously. i could cry right now thinking about how great they are.

we made it to brunch only a few minutes late and were greeted at marie catrib's by the whole bach crew. it was so good to see everyone, to hug the bride, to eat a blt, and to laugh together. then i got biggby, which was another glorious reunion. and finally, we drove up north to the lake house to get ready for the evening's festivities. we wore black and had flower crowns and the bride looked dazzling in her white daisies. dad acted as chauffeur and drove us to the new brewery in suttons bay and on into dinner in traverse city. after dinner, we wandered from bar to bar, collecting friends and strangers. we saw katy and ate hot dogs in the rain before heading back home.

sunday was slow and peaceful and sweet.  we had breakfast at the 45th parallel and spent some time lakeside in the shallows. we saw big fish and tried out the paddle board and spent a sunny afternoon doing lake things i loved. dad drove me home that evening to see mom (and even let me stop at a rest area).

monday, i got shots at the doctor, and saw aunt carolyn, and ate mediterranean, and made a trip to eddie bauer, met aunt char, and dined on fresh veggies. tuesday was beauty day and ethiopian. and i got my eyebrows done, my hair cut and colored, and rode my bike over to biggby to meet erin (because we both didn't have cars). wednesday, we ran errands, and went to world market, and met the walko's for dinner at sansu. thursday, we celebrated grandpa's birthday and i drove to holland to see dr. barney and mrs. barney and anne before venturing to grand rapids and erika to help with wedding things. friday, i drove into the city and met briggitta before getting nails done with the girls and going to the rehearsal dinner. emily and i drove the astro van around construction and through holland and bonded over being late and long trains. saturday was WEDDING day and we woke early to drive to camp geneva to get our hair done leisurely and to soak in the day. the bride looked radiant and was shining and i couldn't help but cry over how beautiful she was and how happy bob looked. it was truly a day of celebration. sunday, we brunched with cousins and i met little lucia in detroit and i began packing again. and monday, the last day in michi, mom drove me to detroit where i lunched with aunt char before slowly getting to the airport for my long flight.

beautiful moments:

thank God for special days with my home team and tribe, for days spent on sunny lakes and in cool water, for days exploring this beautiful green earth, for time invested, for time well spent, for catching up, for long hugs and big smiles, for airport greetings and airport send offs, for road trips and covering ground, for seeing all of michigan, for great lakes, for biggby coffee, for biking, for cozy beds and parents houses, for yards and grass, for green things growing, for rainy days too, for trips home, for years passing, for tears of joy, for standing by someone in their marriage, for celebrating life, for big cities and woods and mountains and lakes, for new adventures and feeling comfortable, for experiences.

but most importantly, for reunions that bring tears and shouts and laughter, feelings that can't be put into words, and hugs that last forever.

blissful bali

last week was lunar new years and most of asia goes on vacation, all at the same time. back in september, lindsey suggested going to bali, so we'd been planning this magical week for a while. the trip began with a ktx ride to the airport, a flight to kuala lumpur, hours wandering the airport through the rainforest and starbucks, until my final flight to bali.

i landed around 6am and was picked up by the driver from my villa. he dropped me off and i crashed in the darkness of the teakwood house. that afternoon i spent on the porch, reading, wandering the grounds, resting. that evening i ordered food from a local restaurant to be delivered, i had to repeat the address so many times because i couldn't pronounce the words correctly, but eventually the food arrived. that night, i slept early.

tuesday, i took gloria, the scooter, out for a spin to the local grocery and through some rice paddies. i had the roads to myself and i took the opportunity to drive on the left and explore some on my own.

i took a nap that evening before being picked up around 2am for a sunrise hike on mt. batur about a two hour drive away to the north east. the hike up was climbing over slippery rocks with flashlights and ten-year-old local guide. we reached the crater just before first light and found good seats for the glorious colors we were about to witness. the guides made us a breakfast of coffee, banana sandwiches, and eggs over the volcanic steam. monkeys came down the crater in herds to take part and to steal what food they could. the volcano was wonderfully green (as was all of bali) and was last active in 2000.

after the hike, we were driven back to the south of the island where i was dropped off at bali buda and waited for lindsey and her driver to pick me up from their place in the mountains to our next spot on the beach. we drove a couple of hours to south kuta, a peninsula along the bottom of bali. finding our beach hut on bingin beach was tricky. we drove back and forth and had to ask many locals for directions. eventually we found a grouping of family huts, and a path, and some steep steps that led down to the beach where we eventually we found our hut and h napping in the bed. some kiwi friends of l's joined us for two nights before jetting off on the rest of their adventure. shelby arrived that night.

thursday, our first full day as a group, we rented motorbikes and scooted off to uluwatu. a temple and some beautiful cliffs. cliffs are one of my favorite of earth's landscapes (along with mountains and forests), and these were some of the most glorious cliffs i've ever seen. we wandered among some cows and hung our feet over the edge. the temple is overrun with monkeys who will steal sunglasses and hats in return for food and treats. 

that afternoon, we biked to a beach close by at low tide. it was full of pools of warm water and we floated from each one to the next. it was a relaxing afternoon among rock formations that were tall and mighty. (we later returned during the morning while it was high tide and the waves crashed among the rocks in a magnificent way).

the last days of our trip were spent scootering, getting pulled over by corrupt indonesian police, pretending to be mermaids, watching surfers, eating beachside barbecue, going to the cashew tree for smoothies as frequently as we could, swimming in giant waves, collecting treasures, climbing cliff stairs, adventuring in a calm, blissful, perfect way. 

this trip was peaceful and good to me. being close to (and in) the beach, collecting precious things, being reminded of lake michigan, driving again (even if it was on a scooter), being with friends from high school, filling in the empty spaces and enjoying our time together, waking up early, feeling normal again. 

as a "last trip" out of my home base in korea, i couldn't have asked for a better adventure or friends to adventure with. the next time i get on a plane, i'll be headed back to the states and to the greatest state in the union. there is something so sweet in that. i'm excited for the months ahead, and the months afterwards. 

bali was blissful and magical and gloriously green. everything i needed. 

hey from chiang mai

i was home for 36 hours between arriving from taiwan and shanghai and jetting off to thailand with my friend j . she had a short vacation and i didn't want to be stuck in an empty cat-less apartment in an empty town (all the students are on break and all the foreigners are on vacation).

our journey to chiang mai was a bit of a long haul. i left my apartment at 9:30 in the morning and took a bus to cheonan. from cheonan it was a 2 hour bus ride up to the airport. we checked in and exchanged money for our 4:40pm flight to qingdao, china. did you know you can only be on mainland china in excess of 24 hours without a visa (if you don't land in one of the airports with the 72 hour transit visa)? we had two layovers in china: one was 14 hours in qingdao and one was 6 hours in kunming. they check when you land in china and when you take off. we landed in qingdao at 5pm on the 6th and flew out of kunming at 5pm on the 7th. we were in china for exactly 24 hours. it was a close one and i was nervous they weren't going to let us on the plane. phew.

we got to chiang mai at 7:30pm on wednesday and took a taxi to our hostel on nimmam soi 1. the location was awesome. it was a quaint little street full of cafes and coffee shops and art galleries. i loved it. the hostel itself was incredibly clean. our rooms were a bunkbed and about a foot on one side to move around, it was tight but cozy. woody, the owner, was kind and watched out for us, checking the buses and taxis that came to get us to make sure we were safe. i was really thankful for him.

the first day in chiang mai we wandered our little area. there were lots of leafy side streets to walk down. we started the day with smoothies and a thai massage. we hopped from cafe to coffee shop and i had a few thai iced coffees (so delicious). that night we ate at a famous restaurant on our street called "mix" and ended with a dessert called global warming that melted under fire.

nimbent soi 1 | the street our hostel was on

being a tourist | chiang mai

the first coffee shop | nimmam

mapping our route | chiang mai

the second day, we went to the elephant nature park which is a sanctuary for 41 or so rescued elephants. the elephants here have been saved from illegal logging operations in myanmar, street begging in bangkok, and trekking camps in thailand. the elephants are not ridden, instead they are left to their own wanderings in the park and interact with humans on their terms. the 41 elephants have formed 5 herds, 2 have babies that roam the park as well. we began the day by feeding the elephants watermelons. it was awesome to see them use their trunks as a limb and grab the melon before sticking it in their mouth. we had a buffet lunch (the best i've ever had!) full of cooked vegetables i haven't seen in a while (or ever) and some pasta. it was such a good, good lunch. afterwards, we wandered the park on foot. approaching some of the elephants. occasionally, we had to back slowly (or quickly) away if they seemed too interested in us. finally, we bathed some of the elephants in the river. ours was a lovely girl. she stood patiently and ate her melons while we splashed her with buckets of the river water. it was fun to play around with an elephant and touch her and be around her. 

bathing our girl | elephant nature park 

feeding watermelons | elephant nature park

my pachyderm palz | elephant nature park 

old girl playing in the mud | elephant nature park 

the third and last day in chiang mai, we walked to the old part of the city to see some of the temples. there were so many! there are 36 active temples just in the old city (which is not very big). they were all unique, though, so it was cool to see the intricate designs on the outside and inside. we got some thai pants (very comfortable) and took a tuk tuk back to our part of town for dinner, packing, and early sleeps before our 6am flight to phuket.

temple | old chiang mai

wat chedi luang | old chiang mai 

tuk tuk ride home | chiang mai

we landed in phuket around 8am on sunday morning and took a mini bus down to patong where our resort was. the beach was right across the street and the hotel let us check in early so we took naps before changing clothes and heading to the rooftop pool. that evening we wandered a little ways from the hotel for dinner, but because we were so tired we crashed early. the next day, we had fresh fruit on our balcony for breakfast before going to the pool. sadly, i got quite burned this day. so we had an early dinner of pad thai and holed up for the night with some movies from the front desk. the next day, i was still burned so we sat in the shade and went to happy hour and just relaxed. that night we put our feet in the indian ocean and it was a lot warmer than i expected! it smelled salty and the breeze was fresh. it was amazing. the next early morning, i got food poisoning from some 1. street pad thai or 2. street mango smoothie, i'm not sure which was the culprit, but it was not a pleasant experience. we had to check out at noon that day and i was still not feeling well so we had a lot of time between then and our flight at 3am. we bounced between air conditioned places until the sun started going down. for the evening, we sat in the cool sand by the indian ocean, watching: the cruise ship out in the bay, people sending off floating lanterns, fireworks, and all sorts of goodness. it was a pleasant way to end the trip. 

at 8, we took a taxi to the airport and waited for our flight. we had a layover in shanghai for a couple hours where we parked it at starbucks and did puzzles. and we were in korea that night. 

indian ocean and beach | patong

view from above | patong

last sunset on the indian ocean | patong

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even though thailand beat me in the end with my burn and food poisoning, i loved it. i loved the people, the atmosphere, the elephants, the beaches. i loved the scenery and the food. i loved the thai iced coffees and little cafes. i loved the fresh fruit and smoothies. it was a great experience, one of my favorites. things to do for next time: don't have a 14 and 6 hour layover on the way there, take the train to bangkok, rent an umbrella, and spend more time swimming in the ocean. thankful for adventurous friends and an adventurous spirit and the means to take them places. thankful for energy and spontaneity and cheerfulness to get us through long layovers and nights in china. thankful for aloe and mango smoothies to cool. thankful for mornings on the hot balcony and nights in the comfy bed. thankful for the sunshine and warmth in between. 

happy january !

hey from taipei, hi from shanghai

two days after christmas, i flew to taiwan to see lindsey and to explore. we'd planned a visit since the very end of august, right after she'd moved there. when i landed, it was raining. i took the 1968 bus and got off the second stop after the highway. she met me with an umbrella and a big hug. we walked the kilometer back to her cozy apartment. that night, we caught up on everything from the last few years and by 1am decided it was time to sleep. 

the next morning, we slept in late. it was still raining. we walked to old street in sanxia and sampled every food that was offered. the little street was full of temples, food stands, and shops. we drank guava juice and ate bullhorn bread. that rainy afternoon, we watched a french movie and that rainy night, we walked to the new part of sanxia and ate hot pot (shabu shabu) at cash city (cash cash city). 

monday, i woke up earlier and lindsey walked me to the bus stop. i took the bus until i hit the subway, and rode that all the way to taipei main station where i met m and c. we hopped on a slow train to hualien on the east coast. that afternoon, we rode scooters to the pacific ocean and scooted up and down the coast for a few hours. for dinner, we went to a tea lounge and sampled teas and ate noodles. tuesday, we took another bus to taroko gorge, a few kilometers up the coast. we hiked back into the gorge and spent some time sitting on rocks, listening to the running water, admiring all the green. we took the late train back to taipei that night and set up camp at a hotel on the west side of the river with a round bed. wednesday, new years eve. we went to taipei 101 and took the really fast elevator to the 89th floor. we walked the circuit, i drank a latte, and we sat up there looking down at the world for a while. the rest of the afternoon was spent looking for sparkles. for new years eve, we met with s and t and stayed close to taipei 101 because it's famous for its fireworks. i'm all about the fireworks, they were amazing. we danced late, late and the subway ran all night. 

the first day of 2015 was spent being lazy. we slept in. lindsey and i went back into town to climb elephant mountain where we saw taipei from above. then we went to a night market and wandered around. 

friday, we climbed a mountain not far from their apartment in sanxia. we climbed a lot of jungle steps, clung to chains spanning ridges, and had to lower ourselves using ropes down rock faces several times. i felt like most of the time was spent pulling myself up the mountain with my weak little arms. but it was so much fun to chat and climb and reach the peak and see so, so far. that evening, we went for dinner at a veggie place and i had some sesame noodles. 

saturday was my last day. we walked and got some juice and a giant avocado. we rode bikes to a university close by and laid in the grass. i miss laying in the grass a lot, korea doesn't have much (if any) grass. we did some yoga, and kicked a soccer ball around. then it was time for me to take a taxi to the airport. and i said goodbye to taiwan. 

scooting | pacific ocean

destination | pacific ocean 

rock-sitting | taroko gorge

latte-sipping | 89th floor of taipei 101

walking to the fireworks | new years eve

greatest fireworks show | taipei 101 

taipei from above | elephant mountain

___

i had an overnight layover in shanghai by myself. i decided i didn't want to spend it in the airport, and china offers a transit visa. i took the maglev train into the heart of the city (i went 300 km/hr but at top speeds it reaches 430 km/hr). i caught a taxi that didn't look sketchy and he took me to my hotel. i crashed for the night and woke the next morning early to go to the bund. i took another taxi there, under the river. the bund is a walkway along the river, overlooking the pearl and other architecturally impressive buildings. it was a smoggy day, but the sun was pleasant and it felt like fall. i took the subway back to the maglev and made it to the airport way too early. 

riding the maglev | shanghai

#aloneies | the bund, shanghai

taking it in | the bund, shanghai 

___

i consistently am learning things about myself as i travel with others and alone. this trip in particular made me worry less and place more confidence in myself and be willing to go where the wind blew me and i can see that attitude seeping into other areas of my life. this, coupled with my faith, remind me: do not be anxious about anything. and this is how i begin 2015.

and tonight, i'm in korea. but tomorrow, j and i begin flying to thailand. we're a little nervous because we have two long layovers in china, and they don't require a tourist visa if the actual time doesn't exceed 24 hours (supposedly). we land at 5pm tomorrow night and leave china at 5pm on wednesday. fingers crossed we make it. 

prayers would be appreciated as we venture out. i'm excited for elephants and beaches and thai food. off again !