i was nervous because i hadn't played in a while, they would only speak korean, and they would expect something of me. but i decided it was a way to boost esprit de corps and gain respect among the other teachers. and it ended up being really fun despite my earlier worries. i wasn't as rusty as i remembered, and the principal gave me a high-five! we played for two hours in our gym over the cafeteria and by the end, i felt like i belonged just a little bit more. i carry my bruised and swollen arms with pride (the nurse also gave me some magical pas to help).
i have found that things that intimidated me or scared me or constrained me have been the most worthwhile. they have the most positive impact. they take the most effort to overcome, but they end up having the greatest effect on my attitude and on my perception of my time here. over the past year, things like traveling alone to japan, climbing fuji-san, and taking the gre seemed daunting until i put in the work and made the effort. and most recently, joining sports teams again like ultimate frisbee, school volleyball, and training for another half marathon were rather scary thoughts. but after those first few minutes of terror and confusion, i fell into a comfortable place again, a place i belonged, a place i could dig out space to fit in.
i have also found that God has been there with me all along. through the lonely travels, lonesome dreams, climbing mountains, taking exams, leaving my comfort zone, His presence has been a constant source of reassurance and confidence. my courage comes from Him.
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korea is blooming again. little miracles springing up every day. on magnolia trees outside my apartment, apple blossoms on the walk from the bus to school, and the dazzling red and fuschia flowers that will soon grace the bottom of the hill near my apartments.
welcome, spring, and all the uncertainty that comes with it.
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